Ugh already into the double digits! This is what has been happening this week:
- Modeling has started! We have already run into a few problems and may have to use cloth simulation for the clothes. I wanted to avoid this to speed up the process but hurdles are unavoidable. I'm hoping things work out
- Started collecting environment reference for when we start the background paintings
- Revised storyboards...
On Friday we spend the whole class period working on the story and although I really do feel that it is getting stronger and stronger, it was WAY too long and convoluted. I only have 30 seconds! In class we had Ahmi defeat the monsters by accidentally causing an avalanche of rocks to crush them. We also toyed with the idea of giving Ahmi a magical flute instead of a staff. She would play her flute in a specific spot to light up the path to her destination. I pitched these ideas to my crew and they had a lot of great critiques:
1. Having her accidentally cause an avalanche of rocks makes it less satisfying and engaging to the audience. "You can have chance get them into trouble, but not OUT of trouble"
2. Using a flute to light up a path to her next destination was almost disappointing to my crew. They felt that toward the end of the story they were happy for my character for making it out alive to then find out that she really didn't get anywhere and still had more places to go.
3. Too many flashbacks. It got confusing when flashing back and forth from the present to past like 4 times.
To address number 1, they suggested I work out a way to make her attack them intentionally. Maybe use the flute to summon the rocks to life to crush the monsters, or use the flute to just cause an avalanche.
For number 2, I told them that Raquel suggested playing the flute in a specific spot because then it gave her a reason to get to that specific spot. My crew had the awesome suggestion of maybe instead she plays her flute and causes the dead forest around her to come to life again. Then she had a reason to get to that specific spot as well as a reason to keep moving forward.
And for 3, just cut back on the number of flashbacks.
THEN, on Monday Brandon Coates and I spend a while working on the story. We addressed the critiques that my crew gave me.
1. & 3. Using the flute to summon rocks to come to life or using it to cause an avalanche... we messed with this idea for a while and I just kept feeling that it was WAY too convoluted. We couldn't find a quick way to convey to the audience that the flute was magical, and we couldn't find a clear way to connect the flute to the rocks coming alive/ falling. I keep referring back to "Borrowed Time" and I was really trying to show Brandon that not a lot happens in the teaser and that is why we they were able to keep it short. In "Borrowed Time", the characters are being chased by someone trying to shoot them. Their carriage hits a rock and a horse dies. The dad gives the son the reigns and encourages him. That is it. As much as I love the idea of a magical instrument and I feel like that tells more about the character than a staff, I just don't know how to convey to the audience that it is magical without more time. One of Raquel's previous critiques was that the staff was too powerful and it felt like it was too easy for her to defeat monsters with a wave of her staff (that is why we introduced a flute). From that Brandon suggested maybe keeping the staff but just making it less powerful. So we went with that. Plus, we don't have to show exactly what she did to defeat the monsters. Also, cutting out the flute really reduced a lot of time and flashbacks.
2. We did a quick and dirty animatic at one point and there it became really apparent that the ending was muuuch too long. I really was loving the idea of the flute making the forest come back to life again but it took a long time for her to find that special place to play the flute, play it, show the forest changing, and then show her moving forward to the next goal. For now I have her just start moving forward again but I would be fine with revisiting that idea if I could come up with a faster way to do it.
1. Having her accidentally cause an avalanche of rocks makes it less satisfying and engaging to the audience. "You can have chance get them into trouble, but not OUT of trouble"
2. Using a flute to light up a path to her next destination was almost disappointing to my crew. They felt that toward the end of the story they were happy for my character for making it out alive to then find out that she really didn't get anywhere and still had more places to go.
3. Too many flashbacks. It got confusing when flashing back and forth from the present to past like 4 times.
To address number 1, they suggested I work out a way to make her attack them intentionally. Maybe use the flute to summon the rocks to life to crush the monsters, or use the flute to just cause an avalanche.
For number 2, I told them that Raquel suggested playing the flute in a specific spot because then it gave her a reason to get to that specific spot. My crew had the awesome suggestion of maybe instead she plays her flute and causes the dead forest around her to come to life again. Then she had a reason to get to that specific spot as well as a reason to keep moving forward.
And for 3, just cut back on the number of flashbacks.
THEN, on Monday Brandon Coates and I spend a while working on the story. We addressed the critiques that my crew gave me.
1. & 3. Using the flute to summon rocks to come to life or using it to cause an avalanche... we messed with this idea for a while and I just kept feeling that it was WAY too convoluted. We couldn't find a quick way to convey to the audience that the flute was magical, and we couldn't find a clear way to connect the flute to the rocks coming alive/ falling. I keep referring back to "Borrowed Time" and I was really trying to show Brandon that not a lot happens in the teaser and that is why we they were able to keep it short. In "Borrowed Time", the characters are being chased by someone trying to shoot them. Their carriage hits a rock and a horse dies. The dad gives the son the reigns and encourages him. That is it. As much as I love the idea of a magical instrument and I feel like that tells more about the character than a staff, I just don't know how to convey to the audience that it is magical without more time. One of Raquel's previous critiques was that the staff was too powerful and it felt like it was too easy for her to defeat monsters with a wave of her staff (that is why we introduced a flute). From that Brandon suggested maybe keeping the staff but just making it less powerful. So we went with that. Plus, we don't have to show exactly what she did to defeat the monsters. Also, cutting out the flute really reduced a lot of time and flashbacks.
2. We did a quick and dirty animatic at one point and there it became really apparent that the ending was muuuch too long. I really was loving the idea of the flute making the forest come back to life again but it took a long time for her to find that special place to play the flute, play it, show the forest changing, and then show her moving forward to the next goal. For now I have her just start moving forward again but I would be fine with revisiting that idea if I could come up with a faster way to do it.
Storyboards v.10